Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
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He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
His nipple licking is glorious
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