Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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