What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
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She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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You had me at "let me see your balls"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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