in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This toilet bowl is my home.
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