I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize