this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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