I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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