So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
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So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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