We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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