At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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