I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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