I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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