My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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