Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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