dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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