plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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