He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize