I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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