Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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