jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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