He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
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i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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