ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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