So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize