Tell her she can't have a vagina
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's never too late to be topless.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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