just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize