I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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