I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize