it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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