And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize