im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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