Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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