I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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