Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize