2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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