I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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