Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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