he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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