i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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