then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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