If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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