someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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