she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
MIDGETS
????
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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