you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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