Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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