u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize