8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize