I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
where does the pee come out of this thing
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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