Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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