I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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