They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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